Thursday Special ~ Painful

A little old lady is walking down the street, dragging two large
plastic refuse bags with her, one in each hand. Unfortunately,
there is a rip in one of the bags, and every once in a while a €20
note falls out onto the pavement.

Noticing this, a garda stops her. ‘Missus, there are €20 notes
falling out of your bag.’

‘St Anthony tonight!’ says the little old lady. ‘I’d better go back
and see if I can collect them. Thanks for the warning.’

‘Well, now, not so fast,’ says the garda. ‘How did you get all that
money? You didn’t steal it, did you?’

‘Oh no,’ says the little old lady. ‘You see, my back garden is right
next to the football stadium. Each time there is
a game; a lot of the fans come and pee through the bushes, right
into my flower beds! So, I go and stand behind the bushes with a big
hedge clipper, and each time someone sticks his little thingy
through the bushes, I say, ‘€20 or off it comes!’ ‘

‘Well, that seems only fair, laughs the cop. ‘Ok, good luck! By the
way, what’s in the other bag?’

‘Well,’ says the little old lady, ‘not everybody pays.’

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24 thoughts on “Thursday Special ~ Painful

  1. *tip toes in* Hello!! 🙄

    Worry not the clippers is locked away in the garage!

    Apologies for all the pain!

  2. “The clippers IS locked away in the garage.”

    GM, have you been sipping the cooking sherry again?

  3. PROVE IT!!!

    I want you to recite

    “Starkle starkel little twink,
    What the heck you are,you think
    I’m not under the alkafluence of inkahol
    Like some thinkle peep I am,
    It’s just the drunker I stand here,
    The longer I get.”

  4. @ Nancy 😆

    Damn! I just spilt my wine through laughing….hic!

    I think Grannymar must be out hunting with her clippers 😆

  5. Can you be breathalised while using a clippers?

    [I think Grannymar must be out hunting with her clippers…]
    Mmmmm…And I thought you were such a nice little lady GM

    I think I’ll need a bigger badge for protection!

  6. Starkahol, starkahol I need a wink………. hic!
    I was on the floor under the sink,
    It needed cleaning
    Now so do I.
    Give me a drink
    or I might die.

  7. Hahaha . . .every man reading this blog is now sitting cross legged and looking out for pissed grannies weilding winky clippers!

  8. Was the old lady called Bobbit?

    I was just off to bed but I’m scared of the dreams I’ll have …wonde rrif they’ve left any of that wine?

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