Thursday Special ~ My Father Always Told Me…

Don’t distract the driver….

A passenger in a taxi leaned over to ask the driver a question and tapped him on the shoulder. The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up over the curb, and stopped just inches from a large plate glass window.

For a few moments everything was silent in the cab, and then the still shaking driver said, ‘I’m sorry, but you scared the daylights out of me.’

The frightened passenger apologized to the driver and said he didn’t realize a mere tap on the shoulder could frighten him so much.

The driver replied, ‘No, no, I’m sorry, it’s entirely my fault. Today is my first day driving a cab……………….

I’ve been driving a hearse for the last 25 years.’

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18 thoughts on “Thursday Special ~ My Father Always Told Me…

  1. Heard it before. But it’s a good one. Reminds me of the old rhyme “It wasn’t the cough that carried him off, it was the coffin they carried him off in”

  2. Great stuff! GM

    I bet Nancy comes back with another gem 🙂

    My father always told me…

    To keep my hands to myself 😉

  3. Nick ~ not everyone has travelled al long as we have! 😉

    Steph ~ Did your dad go to school with mine? I seemed to remember that and also to keep my hand on my halfpenny! 🙄

  4. A woman was leaving a convenience store with her morning coffee when she noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse about 50 feet behind. Behind the second hearse was a solitary woman walking a very mean looking dog on a leash. Behind that were 200 women walking single file.
    The woman couldn’t stand the curiosity.
    She respectfully approached the woman walking the dog and said, “I am so sorry for your loss, and I know now is a bad time to disturb you, but I’ve never seen a funeral like this. Whose funeral is it?”
    The woman replied, “Well, that first hearse is for my husband.”
    “What happened to him?”
    The woman replied, “My dog attacked and killed him.”
    She inquired further, “Well, who is in the second hearse?”
    The woman answered, “My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my husband when the dog turned on her.”
    A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence passes between the two women.
    “Can I borrow the dog?”
    “Get in line.”

  5. Thanks, GM, and I didn’t even tell you about my neighbor who has buried three husbands; and I honestly think two of them were only napping……

  6. Haha I’ve heard it before too but it’s still funny. One time I had to go to a funeral at 6 AM. I shouldn’t have been there. I’m not a mourning person.

  7. Saturday…I’m late again…probably be late for my own funeral.

    Distracting the driver?

    My father didn’t drive (officially) but he did buy me a clockwork train set that ran on circular track.

    He would get it out from time to time for me to play with. I had to put the track together and then he would set the train going.

    I watched the train go round then he would wind it up and set it going again. Later, he acquired a more complex set up and i had to learn to put that together and he would wind up the engine, connect it up and set it going. he would change the points etc.

    Just once I made a noise in my excitement and was firmly told “Be quiet! You’ll upset the driver!”

    “Who’s the driver Daddy?”

    “Me! ”

    There was something very wrong there!

    Nancy, I’ve met that dog before….. told it in the staff room but with a wife and m-in-law in the coffin…riot ensued…then I told the original version … and was accused of misrepresentation.

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