Mothers Everywhere

Today I sent special good wishes to Mothers in America and Australia as they celebrate Mothers Day. Not to be left out may all mothers around the globe feel the touch of love today!

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My mother taught me RELIGION.
“You better pray that will come out of the carpet.”

My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL
“If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to knock you into the middle of next week!”

My mother taught me LOGIC.
“Because I said so, that’s why.”

My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
“Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you’re in an accident.”

My mother taught me IRONY.
“Keep crying and I’ll give you some thing to cry about.”

My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
“Shut your mouth and eat your supper.”

My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM
“Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!”

My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
“If I told you once, I’ve told you a million times. Don’t exaggerate!”

My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
“Just wait until we get home.”

My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
“You are going to get it when you get home!”

My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
“If you don’t stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way.”

My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
“If you don’t eat your vegetables, you’ll never grow up.”

My mother taught me GENETICS.
“You’re just like your father.”

My mother taught me WISDOM.
“When you get to be my age, you’ll understand.”

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12 thoughts on “Mothers Everywhere

  1. And then there’s MORE LOGIC:

    If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you’re not going to the store with me…….

    Once, years ago, when the concept of Adult only housing was first appearing on the scene, we were on a trip with the four kids. We came upon one of these places and I said,”Let’s take a look at how these people want to live.”

    We drove through the development and when we came out I said ,” I didn’t see a swing or a bike or any other toys anywhere. Isn’t that unusual?”

    From the back seat came the little voice of Steve, the 8 year old.
    “Mom, if those people don’t have any children, what do they do for aggravation?”

  2. Primal, Paddy, Nancy, Steph & Judy

    I hope you had a bright sunny day like I did. Most of it was spent outdoors. My dinner is now in the oven and I am so hungry I could eat the keyboard! Time for an apĕrĭtif, will you join me?

  3. Grannymar,

    Thank you but, no thanks!

    I’ve had such a hangover today, I don’t think I want to see another alcoholic drink for a wee while. My liver is shot 😦

    Blame the men in uniforms – very hard to resist! 😉

  4. I was told if I didn’t eat my crusts, I’d never get curly hair . . .it didn’t work . . .I didn’t eat my crusts and have a crown of frizz.

  5. Baino 😆

    I was told that if I didn’t eat butter I would become colour-blind! Years later I discovered the colour blindness only affected the male of the species.

  6. Eat the burnt toast it’ll make your hair curly!

    I can’t remember which parent first said “When it’s brown it’s done. When it’s black it’s well done.”

    Of dry pie crusts: “I’ll eat the nasty inside bit and you can eat the nice outside.”

    on Vegetables: “If you don’t eat those vegetables you’ll never grow up to be intelligent and good looking like your parents.”

  7. Magpie

    I love the vegetables one!

    “If you don’t eat those vegetables you’ll never grow up to be intelligent and good looking like your parents.” Great!

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