Thursday Special ~ DEAF WIFE

A man feared his wife wasn’t hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem.

The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the Doctor a better idea about her hearing loss.

Here’s what you do,’ said the Doctor, ‘stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response.’

That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he was in the Family room. He says to himself, ‘I’m about 40 feet away, let’s see what happens.’

Then in a normal tone he asks, ‘Honey, what’s for dinner?’

No response.

So the husband moves closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife and repeats, ‘Honey, what’s for dinner?’

Still no response.

Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his wife and asks, ‘Honey, what’s for dinner?’

Again he gets no response.

So, he walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away. ‘Honey, what’s for dinner?’ Again there is no response.

So he walks right up behind her. ‘Honey, what’s for dinner?’

Wait for it….

‘George, for the FIFTH time, CHICKEN!’

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18 thoughts on “Thursday Special ~ DEAF WIFE

  1. Nice one. My mum insists her hearing is pretty good, but she always cranks up the TV to mega-volume and practically deafens me. Every time she goes out of the room I reduce the volume and every time she comes back she cranks it up again.

  2. Nick I never heard you coming in there. πŸ˜‰

    I suffered like your mum without knowing. Elly came and everyday she would either turn down the sound on the radio or ask “Do you really need that so loud?”

    Eventually, long story short, I needed anti-biotics for something else and guess what – the anti-biotics did what they were supposed to do AND cleared my ears and now I can hear a pin drop!

  3. Chris I think we must have the same friends somewhere along the line, I get stories on a daily basis from all over the globe.

  4. Okay, here’s one for you.

    A van driver spots a crashed truck full of penguins. He takes pity and loads them into his van.

    The police see the van and pull it over. “What’s with the penguins?”

    The man replies: “I saw them on the road and picked them up.” The policeman says “Take them to the zoo.”

    Later the policeman sees him driving past again with all the penguins in bathing suits. “I thought I told you to take them to the zoo” he says.

    “I did” replies the driver. “We had so much fun that I’m taking them to the beach.”

  5. A little old man shuffled slowly into the ice cream parlor and pulled himself painfully up on to the stool.

    After catching his breath he ordered a banana split. The waitress kindly asked ” Crushed Nuts?”

    “No” said he, “Arthritis”.

  6. I had similar thought about having similar sources.

    Laura bought George a parrot for his birthday. Next time she saw Dick Cheney she told him,”That bird is so smart! George has already taught it to mispronounce two hundred words.”

    “Wow, that is impressive!” replied Dick, and then added, “You do realise that he just says the words. He doesn’t understand them.”

    “That’s okay,” Laurar replied, ” Neither does the Parrot.”

    Hope political jokes are allowed.

  7. Oh good!

    I’ve just seen that I have 400 emails in my funnies folder!

    Some not suitable for youngsters though!

  8. You’ve just described life here at casa kenju!! Only mr. kenju will not admit that he is going deaf. I admitted it years ago!

  9. Betty ~ I heard you laughing over here! πŸ˜€

    Judy ~ Being a little deaf on occasions, is useful! πŸ˜‰

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