Thursday Special ~ My Next Life

I want to live my next life backwards!

You start out dead and get that out of the way right off the bat.

Then, you wake up in a nursing home feeling better every day.

When you are kicked out of the home for being too healthy, you spend several years enjoying your retirement and collecting pension checks.

When you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day.

You work 40 years or so, getting younger every day until pretty soon

You’re too young to work.

So then, you go to high school: play sports, date, drink, and party.

As you get even younger, you become a kid again.

You go to primary school, play, and have no responsibilities.

In a few years, you become a baby and everyone runs themselves ragged keeping you happy.

You spend your last 9 months floating peacefully in luxury,

spa-like conditions: central heating, room service on tap.

Until finally…You finish off as an orgasm.

I rest my case.

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23 thoughts on “Thursday Special ~ My Next Life

  1. That sounds absolutely perfect, a lot better than the present arrangement. I’m sure with all the genetic modification and all that, it’ll be possible in just a few years. Then I can go into reverse. Mind you, there are some rather scurrulous incidents from my past I’d rather not revisit!

  2. At first I thought,”But I’d hate to gradualy lose all my knowledge and understanding as I got younger.” Then realised that that is happening anyway.

  3. Grannymar :LOL:

    I like the sound of that, especially the finish πŸ˜‰

    Magpie is right. You know what they say about old age and life doing a full circle? Well, some of it will come round again but sadly, the ending is not so good!

    “In a few years, you become a baby and everyone runs themselves ragged keeping you happy.”

    Tell me about it!

  4. So you will all be joining me then next time round. Its sure going to be one great big orgy!

    Now for the real world, back to cleaning my windows!

  5. Magpie – you mean all that supposed knowledge and understanding that turns out to be out of date or inappropriate as soon as we try to apply it? “Oh no, Nick, that’s not right, where have you been the last 10 years?”

    Grannymar – One big orgy? Goodness, I haven’t got over the last one yet. I’m getting on a bit, you know.

  6. Wise Web Woman thinks that since you’re younger than me you should be my girltoy! What do you think??

  7. Orgy …Grannymar?

    you mention orgy? you’d be getting young so quickly it would be difficult to keep up!

    I don’t know about living life backwards …. if we had a chance to meet our loved ones who have died for a chance of a chat etc …. great idea count me in!

  8. We have a Mercedes advertisement over here that postulates just that! Doesn’t go as far as an orgasmic ending tho thank goodness, the censors would have a field day!

  9. A great idea! Living backwards. Makes sense to be able to do things when you’re younger and assuming we retain our knowledge from the past, be darned better at it and more appreciative at the same time!
    Now, I’m not sure how to do this really, but this is what I was told to do to “tag” you for that six-word memoir that’s going through the blogging world these days. The official tagging and my memoir will be published tomorrow on Wintersong. Check there if you need further clarification. I checked back and didn’t see that you’d done it already, but if you did (cause I know you get tagged for a lot of things!), sorry! Hope to read your memoir soon.

  10. Living backwards seems popular!

    Alice I will swing by tomorrow to check out what I have to do. Then I might just catch some of the innocents above!!!

  11. Just glorious!

    I am reminded of a very insightful remark from Bill Hicks: “Kids are a lot smarter than we give them credit for. How can I say that? Because I’ve never met a kid with a full-time job, a house and kids.”

    Play and no responsibilities? Where do I sign up?

  12. Been lurking for a couple of weeks ,first-time commenting. This is so good I’m speechless!?!
    You are amazing, oh.. and hello.:)
    Andrew

  13. Andrew ~ Hello and welcome, lurking is allowed but commenting and enjoying the fun is better.

    Kay ~ πŸ˜€

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