These are all out of the mouth of Babes Doctors
A man comes into the ER and yells, “My wife’s going to have her baby in the taxi!” I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the taxi, lifted the lady’s dress, and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs —and I was in the wrong one.
At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient’s anterior chest wall. “Big breaths,” I instructed. “Yes, they used to be,” replied the patient.
One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a “massive internal fart.”