At this time of Year, around the world, thousands of people set themselves goals to achieve for the next twelve months. The vast majority of these good intentions come to nothing. January 17 is actually known as the annual “Break Your Resolution Day”. Yet come the next New Year, and the same folk are back, with fresh resolve promising to diet, exercise, and learn yoga or a new craft all over again.

This variation on ‘The Night before Christmas’ by Clement Clarke Moore might explain why!

‘Twos the week after Christmas and all through the house
nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.
The cookies I’d nibbled, the eggnog I’d taste

at the holiday parties had gone to my waist.

When I got on the scales there arose such a number!
When I walked to the store, less a walk than a lumber.

I’d remember the marvelous meals I’d prepared;
The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared,

The wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese
And the way I’d never said, “No thank you, please.”

As I dressed myself in my husband’s old shirt
and prepared once again to do battle with dirt

I said to myself, as I only can
“You can’t spend a winter disguised as a man!”

So away with the last of the sour cream dip,
Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip

Every last bit of food that I like must be banished
“Till all the additional ounces have vanished.

I won’t have a cookie – not even a lick.
I’ll want only to chew on a long celery stick.

I won’t have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie,
I’ll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.

I’m hungry, I’m lonesome, and life is a bore
But isn’t that what January is for?

Unable to giggle, no longer a riot.
Happy New Year to you and to all a good diet!

7 thoughts on “Resolutions…

  1. Grannymar – I have to admit I weighed myself on New Year’s Day and was delighted to find that I hadn’t gained one ounce over Christmas but…having put on an extra stone since my surgery last March, I definitely need to change my ways in 2008!

    I blame it all on blogging! I eat a very healthy diet and make a positive effort to exercise daily (swimming/walking) but this obviously doesn’t match the hours and hours spent sitting in front of a computer. Over Christmas, I had little time to sit down, hence the non-weight gain despite all the lovely extra nibbles.

    Conclusion: I need a laptop that can float and walk 🙂

  2. Now that I have thawed out my fingers might work! the Baromoter has crept up to 4°C, thats up 6° since this morning. Since I had no Toyboy to chase I had to depend on some Salsa Music to keep me moving and warm.

    Steph, a laptop that floats? They have waterproof keyboards, so you might not have to wait very long! There are mobile phones that behave like laptops, well I think there are.

    Conor and JD, I am glad you enjoyed the poem.

  3. Hi Grannymar,

    Well, I got to Florida and thought I should get weighed for the New Year and when I got on the giant scale at the supermarket, with dozens of people watching, the scale went bonkers and instead of my weight showing up , the huge display said, ONE AT A TIME PLEASE……….

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