Singing and Sex

A minister from a Gospel Hall in North Antrim decided to do something a little different one Sunday morning. He said “Today, in church, I am going to say a single word and you are going to help me preach. Whatever single word I say, I want you to sing whatever hymn that comes to your mind.”

The pastor shouted out “CROSS.”

Immediately the congregation started singing in unison, “THE OLD RUGGED CROSS.”

The pastor hollered out “GRACE.”

The congregation began to sing “AMAZING GRACE, how sweet the sound.”

The pastor said “POWER.”

The congregation sang “THERE IS POWER IN THE BLOOD.”

The Pastor said “SEX”

The congregation fell into total silence. Everyone was in shock. They all nervously began to look around at each other afraid to say anything. Then all of a sudden, way from in the back of the church, a little old 87 year old grandmother stood up and began to sing “PRECIOUS MEMORIES.”

Jim Reeves – lyrics
Precious mem’ries unseen angels sent from somewhere to my soul
How they linger ever near me as the sacred past unfold
Precious mem’ries how they linger how they ever flood my soul
In the stillness of the midnight precious sacred scenes unfold
As I travel on life’s pathway know not what the years may hold
And as I ponder hope grows fonder precious mem’ries flood my soul
Precious mem’ries how they linger…

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8 thoughts on “Singing and Sex

  1. You can always rely on a Granny 😉

    The mind boggles as to what the Pastor had in mind for “SEX” ?

    He should have tried “TOYBOY” 😀

  2. Steph is there a hymn about a Toyboy?
    Send me the words if there is! ….pant, pant, pant!

  3. Grannymar,

    I have a friend in North Antrim who told me that the next night that Minister was giving a temperence sermon and shouted at the congregation'” IF I HAD ALL THE BEER IN THE WORLD I WOULD TAKE IT AND POUR IT IN THE RIVER.”

    And then with even greater emphasis said,”AND IF I HAD ALL THE WINE IN THE WORLD I WOULD TAKE IT AND POUR IT IN THE RIVER.”

    And, finally, shaking his fist in the air he said,” IF I HAD ALL THE WHISKEY IN THE WORLD I WOULD TAKE IT AND POUR IT IN THE RIVER.”

    The song leader stood up very cautiously and announced with a smile,” For our closing song, let us sing Hymn# 365,

    ” SHALL WE GATHER AT THE RIVER.” ……………..

  4. Reminds me of the old quote about memories getting juicer as things dry up.

    Could I interest you in “Gin and Tonic” chocolate. There is an Irish company that makes it…

  5. Will, “Gin and Tonic” chocolate is a new one on me . If the chocolate is dark, you can be my toyboy everyday!

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