What am I to do?

Today I received an invitation.

When you get to my age they don’t come like rain in an Irish summer. This one was from a gentleman; well perhaps I am being kind. You see I have never actually met this man. I have chatted to him for nearly a year now so you might say we have an understanding!

He wants to take things further and has asked me to play games with him. In fact the invitation actually says ‘Break out of your shell and open your heart!’

My Elly is way off ‘Funny-mooning’ so she is not in a position to offer her advice.

You hear funny tales about old men on ‘The Net’

This one calls himself Grandad!

Help!

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15 thoughts on “What am I to do?

  1. I hate to break it to you but my adopted son has been acting up a bit of late: the local authorities contacted me just this week to let me know that tourists and some of those lame-brained Star Wars waana-bes have disappeared after last being seen in the general vicinity of Grandad’s place. They also informed me that he had been spending money like crazy – purchasing munitions, ordinance and your everyday Springfiled rifles in such quantities that the authorities are considering naming him a terrorist organization…

    I feel responsible. Before I deposited that 20 million pounds into his bank account he appeared to be a harmless enough old fart, but i believe the money changed him – he’s now talking about hunting tourists and Jedi-lites by the score.

    You really should not have much to do with him until he returns to whatever sense he possessed before his sudden wealth, I think.

    I have made that a quicker eventuality: last night I hacked his bank account again and REMOVED the great majority of the 20 million pounds – I did leave about 10,000 pounds in order to clean up and or settle any current legal troubles he may now or soon be facing, but his plans of Empire have fallen upon hard times.

    I am sorry, but, much as I get a giggle out of him, you can do far better than with my adopted son.

    p.s. – oh – did he mention he’s married?

  2. It’s all right about the money, Dad. I won’t need your now as I’m starting proceedings against Grannymar for libel. I’m going to make millions out of this one… 🙂

  3. Hi Grannymar,

    I linked over the Grandad’s site….looked around. Checked out his ‘about’ page. If I’m not mistaken…this gentleman is married….and refers to his wife as ‘herself.’ That may help give you an answer.

  4. Grannymar,

    Don’t let Grandad scare you with that libel talk.

    Remember, the TRUTH is the best defense against a libel suit.

    Grandad IS married to Herself, he IS full of S.H.I.T.(In fact, he admits that) and he IS buying weapons to kill Jabba the Hut and American tourists (Not necessarily in that order). I am starting to suspect that he did more to Ron than wound him.
    Has anyone seen Ron lately? NO!!!!! Grandad claims he last saw Ron when he very helpfully assisted him to the bus stop so he could go to hospital and have them tend to his wounds. A likely story!

  5. Grannymar –

    yes, I’m afraid Grandad is married. How Herself puts up with him is a mystery, but don’t get involved.

    Joy – we STILL have about 6 drive-ins in Kansas City; one a two screen, another a 4 screen. absolutely love them…

  6. Doc,

    ” Everything’s Up to Date in Kansas City” Can’t you just hear Ethel Merman singing that song?

    My grandson just started at the University of Missouri in Columbia a few weeks ago. He loves it there!

  7. All this is too much for me, I am stretched out on the couch with a triple G&T!

    P.S. Don’t tell Elly (about the G&T).

  8. nancy –

    actually, we’re NOT up-to-date in Kansas CIty; one of the lovlier aspects of the town… most large cities in North America have plowed under the drive-ins simply because they can make so much more proffit off the land using it for most anything else. Congrats on your Grnadson attending MU! He’ll get – if sober – a quality eduction there and, as it turns out, the University’s (american) football team may well win their division this year.

    Grannymar –

    have 2 triples – grandad has that effect on most everyone.

  9. Grannymar,

    Good job Elly printed her itinerary on her blog because I was able to get in touch with her and report that you were drinking several G&Ts and your neighbors were complaining about you singing so loud.
    Quiet down now, GM. Everything’s going to be all right.

  10. Grannymar, you two-timing hussy! What about your Italian Stallion . . he’s younger, more charming, that lovely chocolatey accent, has to be handsome. Get rid of the old married git and go for the al dente Proffessor. (Maybe after a couple more G & T’s).

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