Think well before you ask

A Woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary Clinic. As she placed her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird’s chest.

After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, “I’m so sorry, your duck, cuddles, has passed away.

The distressed owner wailed, “Are you sure?”

“Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead,” he replied.

“How can you be so sure?” She protested. “I mean, you haven’t done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something”.

The vet rolled his eyes, then turned round and left the room, and returned a few moments later with a black Labrador dog.

The duck’s owner looked on in amazement, as the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.

The vet patted the dog and took it out, returning a few moments later with a cat.

The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed delicately at the duck from head to foot. The cat sat back on his haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, “I’m sorry, as I said, this is most definitely, 100 certifiably, a dead duck”.

Then the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman.

The duck’s owner, still in shock, took the bill. “€150!” She cried.

The vet shrugged. “I’m sorry. If you had taken my word for it, the bill would have been €50, but with the lab report and the cat scan, its now €150″.

11 thoughts on “Think well before you ask

  1. Grannymar –

    We’ve been on the Big Island since yesterday and I just now got a chance to browse the web: saw that Grandad is jerking, er…wanking off to some young blond bit every night while she reads news…sad to see an otherwise relatively young and healthy man lose it so. Especially in public…

    Love the joke.

    Oh, by the way, I checked up on my site and saw that my sister rather impugned your honor. I would love to tell you that she meant nothing by it but she’s a rough old cob and probably did. [I had doubts about letting her keep up my site (and I’ve had more than a couple of e-mails complaining about her topics) but I figure we’ll only be aboard ship until Christmas when we hit Ireland and move in with Grandad and I can take it back over fulltime.] Just wanted you to know I certainly didn’t set her to it.

  2. Doc,

    Glad you are having fun. I am thinking of starting a Novena for Grandad. Maybe if I changed it to the thirty days prayer I could include you sister as well!

  3. Grannymar – thanks for the above re cat scan – I pinched it yesterday! It was the perfect tonic for a friend of mine who’s in agony with a back problem and is awaiting a scan. Humour is definitely the best medicine!

  4. GM – thanks for yours re That’s Life. Interesting programme on RTE 1 tonight – True Lives 10.15pm – will put things into perspective, I guess!

  5. Have lived without TV for eight years now and never missed it.

    Why pay £135.50 just to say ‘Nothing on here but rubbish!’.

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