Granny’s Visit 2


Granny, when you are coming up to stay with me I would like you to pay particular heed to your mode of dress. My neighbours are rather genteel and since most of them are in their nineties you might say they were a little conservative.

Despite what you may have seen on the streets where you live, the following combinations DO NOT go together and should be avoided at all costs:

1. A nose ring and bifocals

2. A pierced tongue and dentures

3. Miniskirts and support hose

4. Ankle bracelets and corn pads

5. Speedo’s and cellulite

6. A belly button ring and a gall bladder surgery scar

7. Unbuttoned disco shirts and a heart monitor

8. Bikinis and liver spots

9. Short shorts and varicose veins

10. Roller Blades and a walker

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8 thoughts on “Granny’s Visit 2

  1. I was looking forward to my dinner until you raised all those images! Good laugh though, well written!I’m trying to figure out your connection to the other Granny but I’m sure it will all be clear in time!

  2. Granny from ‘Granny Lost the Plot’ is my new best friend. She is married to Grandad of Head Rambles – so with that handicap she needs all our sympathy and help.

  3. Dear Best Friend,There is a change of plan. We are going on The Cruise. Me and my four best friends. I’m paying.I have a post on my blog that will show how to dress. We are fashionable discerning ladies. We will be the Famous Five

  4. No, No Granny I have the outfits ready. I might show them later on my blog if i recover from my day out!

  5. The images! God it’ds worse than that cattle herd of a load of fat chicks I saw in UCD that one time!I’m gonna need more than sulphuric acid this time …

  6. ds, where did the ‘fat chicks’ come from?Granny and all the members of my club are slim and elegant creatures.

  7. I wasn’t talking of course about your svelte physique, I was referring to a load of heifers I saw roaming nthe grassy plains of UCD one day.Still though, I’ve been in parts of Spain where the ladies your age … well, as my father would say, the elastic’s long gone.The horror … thank God for Irish dignity.

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